Japanese bank wouldn’t let me take my cash out. they said they didn’t have access to my “online banking account” which has been locked since my ATM card went missing a few months ago. YES I did authorize the locking of the account, but you didn’t have the courtesy to re-activate it after you sent me a new card? isn’t that kinda given that once the new card is issued it should be USEABLE? I am so changing my bank – better yet, I’ll take all the YEN out and SPEND IT ALL on this trip.
FUCK this country. why would you charge $6.50 per 30min for me to use your DELL circa 1999 with Netscape on it? it wouldn’t even load my Twitter. for fuck’s sake. Quincetessence “I hope you won’t have to live in NRT forever, living out there Japanese ‘Terminal’” – LOL. you just don’t know; if you don’t got cash YOU AIN’T NOTHIN in this place. no one takes credit card. you pay for shit with your cellphones. and all I’ve got is this stupid iPhone 3GS that gets No Service. how am I gonna get on a train to Shinjuku? how am I gonna purchase one of those tasty beverages from a shiny vending machine to heal my thirst?
walking around NRT with my luggage, looking for a clue – YES! Starbucks!! you corporate whores offer wifi, don’t you? alas, all I got was a shy/nervous chuckle from a cute employee with oh-so-kawaii eyeglasses. I must look pretty insane; it was an 11hour flight on Singapore 11 with no sleep. was I too psyched to visit the land of rice-ing sun that I abandoned a decade ago? was I too distracted with the flight attendants’ beautiful-y tight-fit uniform? was 3 gin&tonics + 2 cups of shitty red wine not enough to knock me out? – the answer is d.) all of the above but none of the above was as crucial…as the fact that they had SUPER MARIO. on a tiny ass Gameboy COLOR emulator built into a seat in front of you.
I spent probably about 6 hours on it, pretty much NONSTOP. gameplay was sluggish and far from enjoyable, but I managed to hit that old “unlimited multiply” trick so I had about 160 Marios and LOTS of free time to conquer 8 x 4 = 32 worlds and save Princess Peach. A Bombshell. I didn’t even realize how voluptuous she was drawn out to be back in the days. but anyway, it was a pretty fun ride until I hit 8-1. my fingers started to give out. and they brought out cannons and the hammer-throwing jerks PLUS a geek on the cloud that drops those thorny crabs. you gotta be kidding me. my 33-yr-old ass and weakened fingers are surely unable to handle this lethal combo. especially not when I’m this drunk.
but this was the test, or so I decided. my attention span is pretty short for the kids of 90s AND this certainly is not something I should care too much about. they had some interesting movie choices on board, or I could be learning a new language thanx to Berlitz-produced RosettaStone-like game. but I was on a mission. I never finish what I started. and 2010 was the year of finishing shit i.e. my solo AND Los Desnudos album. so I knew I could do this. come on my muscle and reflex from 1986, we used to do make magic together – we have to re-live that dream in the 21st Century goddammit!
6 hours later, finally the Princess appeared and thanked me. all I was left with was the No.1 spot in the ranking board, a swollen thumb and not enough time on the plane to watch any of the films they offer in its entirety. so I decided, to stay awake and write this story for ya.
